life doesn't stop for anyone

School is so soon. I am so tired. I really need to get more prepared for school. Ugh those mother fuckers at fridays only gave me one day for my last week. I want to kill them. Such complete and total bullshit. Whatever they can go fuck themselves. Sorry, i'm just so mad about it. Whatever. I need to look for a way to get a parking pass for my apartment. And i need to pay for school. I'm already so late. This is awful. I just had a cigarette and got the mail. I don't think any one has gotten it in weeks. No one gets the mail because it's full of bills we can't and won't pay. I'm extremely hot and just frustrated sometimes. I avoid things too much...hm where do i get that from? Oh well. Life doesn't stop for anyone.

Well today was kind of stupid. Nothing special, mostly boring. Oh well i forgot i went thrift store shopping with tehila so that was pretty nice. She got a cute jacket and mad books and i got a cup, a candle, a cool scarf and a book. But yeah so after that it got dumb. I just sat around all day but at least i ordered my new phone. I hope i don't hate it so much. But idk i think i'm going to think of this radical change in my every day life metaphorically. Or just make it more of a big deal and link it to this new school year and how people are leaving and you just need to embrace change blahblahblah. Whatever, it's all inevitable. Or so we're all told. My roommate doesn't seem to be the friendliest of people. I'm trying to talk to her and stuff and i normally have the last word in when i'm trying to make conversation. Or at least spark some sort of interest. I don't know, it's not like i want to be bff at all but whatever. I'm just iffy on this vibe i'm getting. Even though i really don't have much to go on but i still feel eh. And school is sooooo soon. I have to move in on the thirty first; it's the thirteenth already!! I also need to put in my two weeks at work. I really liked Friday's. I feel weird about being transfered though. I'm scared to have a job during school. Speaking of, i need to find out about purchasing a parking pass. I'm also scared to have my car at school. Part of me feels like i won't go through with it, but the other part of me feels like i need to go through with it. Also, my feelings are not so sure how they're doing towards a certain person. I kind of want him for more but then again i really don't want him for anything serious. So conflicted. And i really do not know how he feels towards me. Because sometimes he seems like he loves me and then other times he can be so indifferent it completely throws me off. I really do want to talk to him. Our last talk is in total opposition to his actions as of late. If i attempted to have another talk I'd be a little, strike that, a lottle scared as to what he would say. I don't think i'd be happy with either way it could go. Also i have no idea where i stand on the whole thing so i wouldnt know what to say or where to begin. I really am such a wishy washy prick. If he said he <3s me and wants to be together, i'm pretty sure i'd say no because school's around the corner and if he said more of that let's not live in the past b.s. i'd be sad. I also really really reaaaally miss amanda and andrew. I don't like that i have to say amanda and andrew and madden. I'm not used to it and i've decided i'm just not gonna say it. It's nothing personal, i just can't process more than those two. And now i've got two psychadelic drugs i've been chasing after for months and months and i don't know what to do with them. What a confusing time. What a confusing age. July was better.

Hm, felt like i'd try something new. Not to sure how much i'm going to keep up with it though. I guess i've outgrown xanga.